Diaper Duty

Before I had a child of my own, the thought of changing a dirty diaper triggered a gag reflex so violent, it sent me searching for the Pepto. You would've thought that as an elementary school teacher, I would've become accustomed to all things gross. Snot, whatcha got? Boogers, bring it on! Tiny booboos from playground tumbles, ain't no thang! And after seven years of teaching, I'd seen just about everything. But no matter how hard I tried, there were still a few things I couldn't handle. Let's just say I am a firm believer that what goes down (a child's lunch for example), should stay down. And if it's coming from a place usually covered by pants, then check please 'cause I'm outta there.

A bit ashamed to admit just how squeamish I was, I was the teacher with the supply of latex gloves in my desk drawer that never hesitated to send for cleanup help at the first sign that a bodily fluid of some sort was about to make a surprise appearance. Until Gillian Grace was born, I had never changed a diaper, let alone a dirty one. So I figured that I was either going to be the worst mother in the history of the world, afraid of what may be lurking in my own child's diaper, or I was going to learn to hold my breath and get 'er done! Luckily, as it turned out, my aversion to bodily fluids was no match for my instinctive need to nurture my child, and I quickly got over my poop and puke paranoia. I can't really explain it, but some how it's just different when it's your child.

During GG's first few weeks on Earth we documented practically everything, and being a new mom I obsessed over the number and type of dirty diapers she had. But it didn't take too many tally marks before we abandoned our log realizing that all was A okay in this area. We also quickly learned the tell tale signs that she was working up something special for us. Her face turns chili pepper red, her eyes narrow and fill with tears, and a series of grunts ensue. When this happens, it's time to batten down the hatches and head for cover 'cause she's gonna blow! And what ever you do, don't laugh. Hide your face if you must, but never let her see you smile while "work is in progress," as she's very sensitive and will have a meltdown so big it'll make Britney's hair shaving incident pale in comparison.

Just yesterday, Gillian Grace had not one, but count 'em, two baths before 1 o'clock in the afternoon. We always take a bath in the morning, but the impromptu after lunch spa time is not usually a part of our daily routine. The need for a little scrub-a-dub-dub arose after GG's afternoon constitutional of apocalyptic proportions. Of course this all happened only minutes after Daddy headed back to work after lunch. To say that this diaper was massive would've been the understatement of the century, and it wasn't only Gillybean that was left needing to be scrubbed. On the bright side, we were at home and not out running errands like we usually are when a poop of this magnitude happens. The fine art of diaper-chi is tough enough without having to add the cargo area of an SUV, a diaper bag, and too close for comfort gray-haired drivers that can't park their over-sized Cadillacs to the equation. Funny how Gillian Grace always saves all the diaper drama for her Mama.

Please do not disturb... (Vintage GG, September '09)



Work in progress... (Fall '09)



Thank you for your patience! (Fall '09)


Yesterday's second bath of the day! I'm so clean I squeak!

On the way into Target a few weeks ago...

On the way out...Notice anything different?



Usually Gillian Grace decides to wait until we head out on our errands to take care of business. Experience has taught me to pack at least two changes of clothes, always!